Andrew says the darndest things!

My previous post about the lady in the restroom with her son reminded me of the VERY rough toddler years with Andrew. Here are some of the things that I'm not too traumatized to remember:

1) After hearing someone's car alarm go off in our neighborhood son says "Why is that horn blowing?" Husband says "Some idiot's alarm is going off?" Son says "Is it mommy?" In his defense he really wasn't calling me an idiot, but rather thought it was my car. :)

2) "Here are my balls!" He was pointing at the balls of his feet. :)

3) "I like to flirt with pretty girls!" That one is self explanatory. I REALLY dread the teenage years!!!

4) "Stop saying those words that I don't understand" This is when my husband and I speak to each other in Arabic. :)

5) "My tissue is full of boogers, see?" This was when he was sick with a cold.

6) As he was passing someone who was smoking outside "EW! Cigarettes! ECK! Yuck! Ew!" The person heard him. I apologized. :)

7) The standby phrase when he is in trouble: "I love you, Mommy! You're sooooooooo pretty!"

8) "When I get big, I'm going to marry (girl of the week's name) and we are going to have 100 kids!"

9) "I want a dog, cat or little sister for Christmas" This was Christmas 2006

10) Within earshot of a heavy man "That man has a BIG belly!"

11) When it was dead silent in church "My Mommy has two privates and a butt!"

12) After sticking a transformer sticker identifying the Virgin Mary in my nativity as a decipticon "Look! Baby Jesus's Mommy can be a transformer!"

13) My husband took our son into the men's restroom and they were washing their hands. Another man finished using the restroom and went to wash his hands. He just rinsed his hands with water and started to grab a towel. Our son announced "Daddy, he didn't use soap!" The man then proceded to wash his hands again, this time using soap.

14) We spent the day at my friend's ranch and visited the baby goats, gave the baby goats a bottle, rode a pony, gathered eggs in the chicken coup, had a nice lunch, etc. When he got home he decided to share his day with his dad. What did he say? "Dad, the horse pooped and the goat peed!'

15) Our son's standard for babysitters "Is she pretty?"

16) When our friends came to visit we were touring around town and our son insisted on holding the 12 year old girl's hand the entire time. He looked at his dad and said "You know why I'm holding her hand? 'Cause she's pretty!"

17) Back in CA, Our local aquarium had a new freshwater otter exhibit. They have a little film about how the otter will do a little dance before it releases his waste. Needless to say this was our son's favorite part! A few weeks later we were visiting the exhibit again and an otter in the exhibit started doing his little dance. Our son got so excited and yelled "Mom! He's going to poop!"

18) When he learned that his grandfather's 74th birthday was coming up the first thing out of his mouth was "What age do you die?" His grandfather will be 75 this month!

19) He waited until it was dead silent in church, grabbed both of his nipples between his thumbs and forefingers and announced "These are my nipples! They don't do anything! Everyone has them!"


20) We often tell him his birth story which involves a phone call, driving across the state, meeting his birthmother and taking him home. A good friend was pregnant and he asked "Why is there a baby growing in her tummy? You drive a car to get a baby!"


20) I had him in a public restroom stall with me while I went and he said "Good job, Mommy! You went peepee in the potty! I'm so proud of you!" I could hear other women giggling!


21) One Saturday Josh was making lunch for our son. This is typically done by me during the week since Josh works. Josh wasn't doing it exactly the same way I do it. Andrew said "You aren't doing it the right way! Mommy does it a better way!"


22) The song "Brick House" was playing on the radio. A few minutes later he starts singing "Brick . . . Hooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuussssssse!"


23) We used to frequently eat dinner at a club on base in Japan. They had Japanese waitresses that worked there. Every time we walked in he would look at the waitresses and say "Hey, pretty girls!"